Secrets of the heart: revealing my values

As 2018 came to an end, I took time to sit down and identify my values: what standards do I want to live up to? I thought it only appropriate, as I begin 2020, to revisit this exercise in identifying my values and words to live by.

In some ways, I think I expected to settle for similar values as those I chose for 2019, and I must admit I was quite surprised by the turn that the exercise took. In some ways, the values for 2020 are nothing like those that I chose for 2019. On the other hand, they seem to be built on the foundation of what I worked on all year.

Words to live by

My 2019 words were:

  • thriving
  • connected
  • Divine
  • aligned
  • creative
  • courageous

I wrote that out as

I thrive as a Divine being, aligned, connected, creative and courageous.

If you asked me to choose the one word for 2019, it would have been thriving. And yet, if I’m honest, at no stage in 2019 did I feel like I was succeeding.

Last year was definitely a year of immense healing as well as growth. It was gut-wrenching and painful; it often felt like I tore down many aspects of my life. Nonetheless, they were parts of my life that were not aligned with what I wanted to create. I was courageous in 2019, daring to step into a new definition of who I was. I connected with myself, with the Divine and with others throughout the year! And I was creative in writing some 179 blog posts throughout the year, as well as many other projects and contributions that I made.

I was looking at the definition of thriving as “to prosper and flourish”. Of course, I ignored the meaning “grow or develop well or vigorously“. Perhaps I was thriving, and I just failed to appreciate the growth I was going through!

Without a doubt, I thrived! Even if I failed to recognise that was happening!

Be careful what you ask for and declare to the Universe:

It will manifest in your life.

lead from the heart, choosing values, words for 2020, words to live by, what is important to me, identifying my values, what do I want to express in 2020, how do I want to live in 2020, bold, flow, inspired, intuitive, aware, resilient, committed,, secrets of the heart, revealing my valuesWhat am I asking to manifest in my life in 2020? To arrive at my 2020 values, I used a technique I created through what I have learned from mBraining.

I sat down with a list of 200+ values and sat quietly connecting with my heart. I worked through the list and connected with the values, crossing out any that didn’t feel important to me at this time. If I “thought” they were significant but didn’t feel the importance, I removed them. I wanted to lead from the heart, from a place of connection.

After I had completed this first run, I went back through the list a second time, looking at them objectively. Which values did I think were significant? How do I want to define my life in 2020?

Then, I went back through the list a third time, this time identifying deep within my gut. Which values on the list did I need in my life? Would I feel safe and secure with these values guiding me?

Finally, I went back through one last time, connecting with my heart as well as with my gut, and asked myself: which values do I identify with when I genuinely love myself and others?

Even so, I was left with close to 100 words finishing this part of the process.

Using mind-mapping

Just as I did last year, I took the time to mind map all of the values that I was left with. This is where I was surprised to find significant shifts and changes have happened with all the growth in 2018!

Be bold!

There were a whole lot of new words on this year’s mind map that had no great importance for me in 2018-2019! I don’t recall “beauty” being relevant to me. And while compassion and connection were still relevant, “bold” spoke to me much more than love, compassion or beauty did!

be boldThroughout 2019, a lot of the internal work I did was about speaking my truth – being willing to have a point of view that might be different from someone else’s. I also had to face the possibility of “being seen”, rather than staying hidden in the shadows.

So, in a way, it’s no surprise that boldness stands out in 2020 in a way it didn’t in 2019.

Am I committed to my growth and results in 2020?

committed, commitmentSimilarly, commitment took a place that I didn’t expect.

Then I realised much of my growth through 2019 was based on my promise to growth and to the healing journey I undertook. While on my mind-map, most of the words surrounded accountability, I realised that accountability was part of my journey of commitment. To remain committed, I need accountability from my tribe. Discipline, consistency, productivity and excellence are merely indications of my commitment.

Being adaptable & resilient in an ever-changing world

Another word that took prominence for me was adaptability. I never related it before to curiosity, exploration, innovation and growth! I certainly did not expect it to be associated with happiness, joy, security and stability. In fact, I would never have considered that being adaptable to change was linked to success.

resilient, resilience, adaptabilityIn the end, I chose the word resilient, rather than adaptability (mainly because I realised resilience wasn’t even on my list).

Take inspired action!

inspiration, purpose, inspired action, accomplishment, brilliance, empowermentI struggled with choosing between inspiration and purpose. In the end, however, I settled on inspired as the best choice. The last few months of 2019 were filled with learning to take inspired action. All inspired action is aligned with my purpose, but I also realised that I am still discovering silence, getting quiet and listening for inspiration. I easily fall into the trap of being making busywork, rather than being intentional. Being inspired takes me to a place of focus on my goals and results.

What am I noticing and aware of?

Similarly, while authenticity continued to be necessary, I realised that awareness was actually what I needed to focus on to be more authentic! To effectively connect with others, I need to have empathy and be aware of how others are feeling. How do I truly connect with another person without empathy and awareness?

aware, awareness, authenticity, consciousness, gratitude, present, decisiveness, faithful, honesty, integrityI also need to notice what my personal truth is – what am I becoming aware that I was ignoring because it was uncomfortable? Am I willing to speak that truth at the right moment? For the healing and inner work to continue, I need more self-awareness, not just being mindful of the energy and people around me.

Then, once I become aware, this year calls me to be bold and have difficult conversations.

Becoming more intuitive

intuitive, imagination, creative, consciousness, Divine, God, thriving, aligned, creativityOne of the reasons to focus my awareness is that I am learning to trust my intuition. There are many times when I simply know something, with no explanation or logical reason for the knowing. And so, my mind would discount that knowledge. Often, I would later regret not having paid attention to that intuitive hit.

As an INTJ, I like being rational and analytical. I want to understand how I know something. Where and when did I learn it?  As someone who does a lot of studying and research, I like to know my sources!

So, I admit to struggling with being intuitive – with accepting the gift of claircognisance. But, sometimes, I just know. And I don’t have an explanation for how I know. I’m still learning to accept that this is reliable and for my good.

Detachment and flow

flow, in flow, detachment, calm, tranquillity, peace, patienceFinally, I am learning to accept that things will work out in their perfect time. Having inner peace and tranquillity requires that I have the patience to focus on the present moment while working on my action plan.

Yes, I still struggle to detach from outcomes!

But I am learning to flow. It is a process of learning to trust the Divine – having faith and still putting in the hard work and effort.

Secrets of the heart

what are my values, identifying my values, what is important to me, how do I want to lead my life, bold, flow, inspired, intuitive, aware, resilient, committed,So, there you have my words for 2020.

This year I will be BOLD, strong, courageous and determined. No matter what happens, I will remember that I am adaptable and resilient and that I build success and happiness by finding innovation in times of change. I sit in silence each morning for inspired action, being committed to doing what needs to be done. Nevertheless, I will stay in the flow rather than getting uptight, clinging to outcomes. I will practice being aware – internally and externally – trusting that I am intuitive and connected with the Divine.

If I had to choose only one of these words, it would be BOLD. The other values help me focus on how I can be bold in 2020!

What word or words are you choosing for 2020?

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  1. I choose sincere. I want to call out things, persons and situations as they are. No sugar coating for 2020. What bothers me bothers me. What makes me happy makes me happy.

    I liked your statement about flow. Do your best and leave the results up to God.

  2. I like this list. Flow can be dfficult for me sometimes. I always want to do more and be way ahead of where I’m at but you can’t do it all in a day. We have to find time to take it easy every day. This is great that you made this list. I look forward to following your journey. Thank you so much for sharing!

  3. It is so important to continuously revisit our values! Thank you for sharing! I’ve been thinking about resilience quite a bit over the past few years. This post has inspired me to create a mind map of things that I have discovered increase resilience.

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