The past couple of weeks have been a struggle – a struggle to connect with myself, my hopes & dreams and especially to connect with others. I have felt plagued by doubts & fears – the ones that raise their ugly head and say “you can’t do it” — “you will fail“.
And I have become very aware that if I simply listen to that voice in my head – the constant chatter of monkey mind – I will fail. Instead, I have been careful to connect to my heart – my compassionate & brave heart that whispers “I believe in you”.
Metaphorically, we speak of the heart as being the center of our feelings, emotions,, connection, wants & desires. Our heart is the center of compassion, oneness & connection.
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. —Antoine de Saint-Exupery–
But, scientifically, the heart is shown to be so much more than just this – the signals from the heart to the brain are known to influence our emotions – and moreover, the electromagnetic output from our heart has a powerful effect on others! Each person exists physically, but they also emit a vibrational frequency – whether consciously or unconsciously.
We communicate with each other, not only through our words & micro-expressions, but through the very electromagnetic field that surrounds our heart. The heart creates an energy field 60 times bigger than that created by our brain – and we are capable of picking up on the subtle differences between people and what they are emitting.
So, when Jim Rohn says that we become the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with – what influence are they having on us? Who am I surrounding myself with? What energy influence are they having on me?
Over the past week, I have taken a lot of time to contemplate my connection – to self, others, my dreams & goals, nature, and also my spiritual connection. When was the last time you gave yourself time to contemplate and just be present contemplating your connections?
Connection to self:
When was the last time you took a moment to name your emotions – to actually identify “this is what I’m feeling”? Do you see, hear & value yourself? They say we attract what we are – so I ignore myself, I will attract other people into my life that also ignore me. As I disconnect from myself, I create a black hole within – neediness. And that neediness drives others away – because they have no desire to have their energy consumed by this black hole!
The only person that is able to complete me – to replace that black hole with a heart full of compassion – is me! It’s only when I check in with myself – when I give myself time for mindful breathing – a moment of self-awareness – “What am I feeling?” – that I am able to recognise any pattern in my life that needs replacing.
And when I discover that something is missing – I can either look outside of myself for the solution – or I can recognise that everything that I need is deep within me, and simply connect to my spiritual source, which never runs dry.
Connection to nature & peace
The first step involved stepping out into nature, because it reduces stress, has an anti-inflammatory effect & strengthens the immune system. Most people experience that in nature they are more energised, productive, creative & inspired. Connection for some people means star-gazing, cloud-gazing or moon-gazing.
For me – it means stepping out barefooted – or sitting in the grass – and simply reminding myself to “be”. This way, I am more grounded – connected with God, creation & all that is.
Stop the hurry – and like a tree, remember that my roots are deep: the nutrients I need are right here where I am, the rain & the sun take care of my most basic needs. When I remember I am connected – I listen to my body:
- tired? Sleep
- hungry? Eat
- thirsty? Drink
- Pain? I acknowledge the information that my body wishes to communicate.
Spiritual connection – Source & Compassion
I also remember, as I take this moment to pause and to listen, that I can connect within to compassion & love. Have there been moments when I have forgotten and simply allowed monkey mind to run wild on me?
But there has also been growth – as I’ve remembered that I can source my strength from simply connecting with the Divine – with God – rather than trying to figure this out myself with human strength!
My ego insists that it must be understood – my soul, in its wisdom, desires to understand – not just myself – but all of life & existence! I know I am designed for a unique contribution on earth – what is my unique spiritual path? What do I need to understand today? How do I connect with my passions, my values & my dreams & vision?
Connection with vision & dreams
When I remember that I am full of compassion & love from God – that nothing is lacking – then I am able to connect back into my vision & purpose! What in my life is more important – central to my happiness, success & well-being – than anything else? What takes precedence over everything else – that I simply HAVE to complete?
When I connection with my vision & dreams – my desires – then I recognise that I need to take risks – take action. What is scary about what I want to achieve? Where are the inner obstacles that cause fear to rise within me? Where am I called to step beyond my comfort zone?
It’s only when I connect with my deep, underlying goals & purpose that I can connect on a surface level with my goals, actions & plans. Because I need to ensure that my surface goals and what I am working on today is really aligned with the underlying passions & purpose of my life. There’s no point in climbing the ladder – only to find I’ve put it up against the wrong wall!
My dreams & desires take my into my heart — my plans require thought and analysis – and my goals require that I move into my gut and action!
When was the last time you took time to simply sit and connect with your dreams, plans & goals?
Finally — once I have connected with my dreams & desires and I have clarity of purpose – then I need to ensure that I am connecting with others.
Connection to others
We have all experienced the ability to coexist without truly connecting. We can simply choose to “get along” – and yet never open up to a deep connection. And yet, we are all social animals – people need a tribe or “herd” – where they receive attention & time from others.
We need others to see, hear & value us – we need them to see our soul – with complete intimacy. Social connections allow us to feel supported & valued. They increase our happiness, which in turn gives us better health and longevity.
Connecting with others may show up as concrete help – asking for a favour, emotional support, perspective, advice or validation. But, in order to generate oxytocin – our relationships and connections with others need to be based on trust – truly connected & intimate. Not just coexisting.
For me, as an introvert – connection with others shows up as the last thing on the list – it is what I do when I am feeling complete and that I have something to give. I recognise that when I am feeling empty, I pull away from social interactions and want to retreat further in my shell! It’s not that I can never receive anything from others – it’s that I am hesitant to being open and receiving their negative energy, rather than being lifted up! I would rather bare my soul to a cat, dog or tree than to another human being.
And yet, I also recognise that physical interaction with other people is completely necessary! Especially as a mother of a 5-year-old that needs some 19 hugs a day! So – staying in a little hole, feeling sorry for myself, is not an option! Not wanting to see or interact with other people – that no longer exists within my playbook.
So, I have been learning to connect with myself, with God, with nature & with my purpose, so that I more quickly have something to give as I connect with her & others!
My personal contract – with myself – is simply this:
I am a strong woman,
who has everything she needs &
everything to give.
How is this true for me today?
Have I connected with what I need and ensured that I am complete?
Am I ready to give?
I know what my values are – I recently took a moment to reconnect & identify them for myself – how are these showing up in my life today? How do I need to connect to them – in order to be complete & whole?
As I open up my heart – and I connect with others – what am I giving?
As you connect – what are you ready to give to others today – heart-2-heart? What’s the positive impact of your electromagnetic field on those closest to you?