Creating a new habit: self-worth

Wednesday I got on a call with two other coaches, regarding what we were going to do this week to move forward with our individual businesses.  My commitment, at the end of the call, was that I was going to go live on Facebook for my businesses.

I did this for my law firm, and I admit, that was pretty easy.  But I was procrastinating! The same way I was procrastinating when I reviewed some of the accounting.  Because that wasn’t the business I was talking about with Nina & Tina!  We were talking about coaching and our coaching businesses.  And I committed that, while it was outside of my comfort zone, that I would do a Facebook live on my coaching page!

It’s always a challenge to grow outside of our comfort zones!  I know this well.  As a multipotentialite  / hummingbird, I am constantly pushing the boundaries of my knowledge, my skills and my area of expertise.  But there are some boundaries that I have’t explored. Like Facebook live. Even on my own personal page with family and friends, that hasn’t been something I have even thought to explore.

And so, here I am, on a call with Nina & Tina, and they are pushing for a new experience and exploration!

Trusting myself outside of the comfort zone I have built!

Because at the end of my comfort zone lies the learning, the new experiences, not to mention a little bit of stress, anxiety and discomfort.  My comfort zone, on the other hand, provides me with familiarity, certainty, security, little stress and running almost on auto-pilot.

Creating a new habit, self-worth, self worth, habits, comfort zone, trust yourself, keep your wordIt’s like those habits that we build up in life, that allow us to conserve energy and reduce decision-making – where the subconscious simply takes over and automates our movements. That’s all fine and well, as long as they are good habits and are serving us well.

But sometimes those habits, and that comfort zone, do not serve us well.  Rarely are we at our peak performance within our comfort zone. Have you ever heard of a runner or biker that wins any kind of race while staying in their comfort zone? No. Neither have I!  At some stage, our comfort zone starts to hold us back, and we become less likely to try something new.

So, here we are, 6: 31 p.m., and I have not yet done my Facebook live.

Why? Because it’s risky. It’s exposure. I’m up front and on my stage – performing.
Some people might not like it.
I could be criticised. 
Self-doubt.  

On the other hand, outside of my comfort zone I know many great things lie: my passions, my goals, and my self-worth!  Conquering my fears makes me stronger, and allows me to trust myself more. But sometimes we need an impulse and push to get out of that zone.

And as soon as we are out – there is a whole world available to us! So, today I’m live – outside of that zone.

Why?

Because I said I would.

The only reason I’m doing a live today: because I said I would go live.

I have learnt the hard way the importance of keeping my word to myself. They say we are what we repeatedly do. So, when I repeatedly fail to keep my word to myself – I become a liar, a fraud, and a deception. When, on the other hand, I keep my word to myself, I trust myself, I believe in myself and have self-confidence. I establish my own worth and value by what I do, not by what I say I will do.  I feel self-worth when I honor my commitments to myself. Like the one I made on Wednesday – Facebook live today!

If I allow my word to be meaningless to me, then I lose respect for myself – I can no longer rely on myself.   If I say I am going to do something, and then I don’t, my internal conversation becomes:
I’m a liar. 
I’m not trustworthy. 
I’m a failure. 
Don’t trust her every again – she doesn’t live up to her word!  

I am able to reclaim my personal power when I keep my word to myself: showing myself that I have value.  Because I value and honor myself, I keep my promises. I don’t buy in to my cheap excuses and stories about why I wasn’t able to do it.

I keep my word to myself because I believe in my goals and intentions. Even when I promise I will do something outside of my comfort zone!

I started talking about habits and how our unconscious mind rules these: when I consistently don’t follow through on my word, the unconscious mind stops taking me and what I say seriously!

  • She’s not going to keep to the diet. 
  • She’s not going to exercise. 
  • She’s not going to get up earlier to meditate and journal.  

As I start small, and keep the easy commitments, and keep my word to myself, my subconscious mind catches on to the new rules: my word is valuable.

And so, I don’t give it lightly. My subconscious stops me, before I make empty promises or agree to do something that I don’t really want to do.  It becomes my new best friend in setting boundaries and learning to say “no” to other people.

But it starts with me. Internally. Keeping my word to myself. On the easy things.

So, here’s my Facebook live from today.

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